Be confident.

Aspiration #5: Be confident.

“I have never known a man who died from overwork, but many who died from doubt.” ~ Charles Horace Mayo, Surgeon

My husband and I return to work tomorrow after a 12 day break (eight work days, plus weekends). It is always difficult to return to the regimented schedule. This is kinda funny, because our natural sleep-cycle is the absolutely radical 11 p.m. to 7 a.m., but it is amazing how much harder it is to sleep 10 p.m. to 5:30 a.m. When I was a child, I remember my mother saying it was 'inhumane' to be up before 6 a.m. I'm not sure when she changed this philosophy (if she ever did), because I know she woke up at 5:30 when I was in high school to do her morning aerobics with some network exercise program. This time of year is particularly depressing anyway since we leave for work in the dark and often don't return home until dusk or later. Our poor dogs must think they've moved to Alaska with days upon days of dark night!

Anyway, the above quote is a reminder for us to be confident in our work. We are both teachers... of English, the most dreaded of subjects for a majority of students, which means an often antagonistic relationship with our classes (not individual students, we both connect quite personally with students). Teaching is often a thankless job and, unlike a mechanic that has a well-running car as proof of his skills, our 'product' may take a decade or more to show what we've done for them. It leads to self-doubt and that is so depressing, especially as we reach middle age. We aren't the only ones to question what we've done with our lives, but we both know we need to STOP questioning ourselves if we are going to be satisfied with today!
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Today, I happened to read the following in an interview with Dustin Hoffman:
"You constantly live in doubt, whether or not you are successful or not. Am I a fraud? Am I doing good work, or am I fooling people?" (Sperling 45)
Well, if Dustion-Bloody-Hoffman, well-known and award-winning actor, can still have a midlife crisis, who am I to feel guilty over mine? Of course, that also deepens my self-doubt. If he can question the value of his life, what is the value of my tiny, insignficant, unknown existence? It really brings home the idea of how we must each determine success for ourselves and not depend on acceptance/approval from the world.

Works Cited (I know this is unnecessary on the Web, but I just finished grading 80 research papers and feel I need to be an example whenever I know where I'm getting the quotes or info. that isn't my opinion...)

Sperling, Nicole. "Checking in with Dustin Hoffman." Entertainment Weekly. 9 Jan. 2009: 44-45.